Helping a child understand and believe in themselves can be one of the most rewarding experiences for a parent. Self-confidence and self-esteem are essential factors in kids’ mental health and physical well-being. Having a strong sense of self-worth can open doors to academic success and improved relationships among family members, classmates, and friends.
While the temptation to rely on external affirmation and constant praise may be strong, the secret to raising a self-assured child is to focus instead on developing internal confidence. The following strategies will help build your child’s self-confidence by encouraging autonomy, communication, and understanding.
Encourage Autonomy
When you give your child the opportunity to take some responsibility in their own affairs, you can help them develop the confidence to make decisions that are best for them. Encourage your child to make simple decisions about their day-to-day activities. Ask them questions to help them become independent thinkers, solve problems on their own, and discover their own interests.
Examples include letting them choose their own breakfast, helping them pick out their own clothes for the day, or giving them simple chores to complete. As you discuss these decisions, focus on the process rather than the result, and offer guidance and affirmations to help bolster their feeling of accomplishment.
Promote Positive Self-Talk
The language we use when talking to ourselves shapes our belief systems and thoughts, so it’s essential to help your kid develop a positive internal dialogue with themselves. Instilling self-confidence through positive self-talk involves helping your child to recognize and draw upon their inner strength and to separate their inner thoughts from external opinions. Encourage them to set achievable goals, avoid comparing themselves to others, and remind them that mistakes are opportunities to practice new skills.
Likewise, be mindful of your own language and the messages you communicate. Kids look up to you as a model for how to interact with the world, so strive to be positive and replace any negative self-talk with encouraging messages to yourself and others. If you need assistance, motivation, or just don’t have the words, there are many helpful book and online resources that provide positive, upbuilding messages for children of all ages.
Provide Support, Not Judgment
It’s important for your child to feel understood and emotionally supported. Provide a safe environment that fosters open communication and is free of judgment. Listen to them with an unbiased perspective and an open heart and mind, then ask questions that help them gain clarity and perspective.
Find ways to accompany them as they discover who they are and what they enjoy. Empower your kids by helping them to embrace differences — racial, cultural, physical, and social — and express themselves honestly with respect and empathy.
How to Get My Daughter To Be More Confident?
Our culture places huge expectations on girls to look, act, and think a certain way. Encourage your daughter to understand and prioritize her own interests, opinions, and sense of worth, and warn her of the danger of baseing her value on external factors. Walk the talk and make sure she knows that it’s not necessary to be “perfect” in order to be valued, respected, or liked.
Discourage comparison, both with herself and others, and instead focus on becoming the best version of herself. Help her cultivate her talents and become aware of her strengths. Foster her self-discipline and affirmations, and encourage her to develop a strong sense of inner resilience and self-love.
How to Get My Son To Be More Confident?
The ingredients of confidence don’t differ much for boys. The message is the same for both genders — encourage autonomy, promote positive self-talk, and provide support — but consider the different expectations we have for boys and the messages they receive from society and their own peers. Refrain from pressuring your son to conform to rigid gender stereotypes, and listen to his preferences without judgment.
Help your son appreciate his particular abilities and traits, such as his sense of humor, creative outlets, and empathy — qualities that too often go unrecognized in boys. Show your son that it’s okay to be uncomfortable and make mistakes. Print out famous quotes with inspiring messages and encourage your son to adopt them as mantras.
Self-confidence is a skill that must be learned and honed. By teaching your kids to trust in their own judgment, express their thoughts and opinions, and nurture their talents, you can help them develop the security and strength they need to become self-assured adults.
Sources:
https://www.gottman.com/blog/4-ways-parents-can-help-children-build-self-esteem/
https://www.verywellfamily.com/confidence-building-for-girls-22234
https://wellfamily.com/building-self-confidence-in-your-son/