As parents, teaching our children empathy is one of our most important jobs. Having empathy is essential for forming relationships, understanding others and growing as a person. Most children pick it up naturally, but as a parent, you can help your child develop stronger empathy and understanding skills.
How can I help my child develop empathy?
Teaching your children empathy is a learning process that involves nurturing and patience. Here are five tips to help you foster an atmosphere of understanding, compassion and respect.
- Model Empathetic Behaviour: Your children are watching your every move – from the way you talk to your spouse to the way you interact with strangers – so modelling compassionate behaviour is key. Show your children how to put themselves in someone else’s shoes and how to be kind and respectful.
- Encourage Friendships with Different Groups: Encourage your children to make friends with those who are different from them – those who have different backgrounds, beliefs and experiences. This will help them learn how to interact better with people of all sizes, shapes, ages and backgrounds.
- Help Them Identify Emotions: Since young children can’t articulate their emotions well, they may act out to express frustration, anger, fear and confusion. Help your child learn to identify and cope with their emotions by talking about them. Use books, stories and show characters that your children can relate to.
- Teach them to Put Others First: As parents, we need to help children understand that their behaviour has an effect on others. Teach them to put others first by allowing them to take turns and to share, by helping them help others and by praising their compassion for others.
- Talk About Bullying: Talk to your children about the hurtful effects of bullying and help them develop empathy to prevent them from becoming bullies themselves. Encourage them to stand up for others and to reach out to someone if they themselves feel bullied.
At what age does a child develop empathy?
It’s important to understand that empathy is an innate quality, but children need to be taught how to act in an empathetic way. From infancy, babies can display empathy. They recognise their parents’ emotions and begin to reflect them. By the time children reach 4 or 5 years old, they are able to identify and connect emotions with behaviour.
Some children don’t seem to show as much empathy as others. This can be due to an array of factors such as personality, environment or experience. That being said, research suggests that parents can help to make a difference in fostering empathy in their children.
What does it mean when your child lacks empathy?
If your child is lacking empathy, it means that they are not showing awareness or understanding of other people’s feelings or circumstances. If they are unable to recognise how someone else is feeling it might lead to problems in social situations as they won’t be able to relate to their peers. As a result, they may have difficulty understanding and maintaining relationships with others which can have a detrimental outcome on their quality of life.
Can a child be taught empathy?
Yes, a child can be taught empathy. As mentioned before, empathy needs to be nurtured from infancy and young children have an amazing capacity for empathy, before the world’s demands and expectations take over. Children need to be taught emotional literacy and taught to recognise, verbalise and respond to the feelings of others.
If you’re looking to build your child’s empathetic nature and help them develop better relationships with others, here are a few additional tips:
- Encourage your children to express how they feel.
- Teach them the importance of communicating and not assuming.
- Help them understand that everyone’s experience is different.
- Guide them to find the right words to describe different emotions, such as happy, sad, frustrated, scared, or angry.
- Encourage them to take part in activities that help them learn about other people’s feelings and view the world through other perspectives.
How to get my son to be more empathetic
An approach specific to boys is to remind them that their emotional intelligence is a strength and will help them in the long run. Show them examples of successful male role models who are empathetic, kind and understanding. Encourage them to be the person who speaks up for justice and helps the underdog. Emphasise the value of being a leader who builds bridges and not walls.
How to get my daughter to be more empathetic
Many girls are natural empaths, but this can be weakened by societal pressures. Work to ensure your girls don’t lose their empathy. Encourage them to value all people, regardless of their differences. Remind them that their opinion matters and they have a unique power to support others and make a difference. Highlight the power of kindness, understanding and connection.
As parents, the best thing we can do is actively promote and nurture empathy in our children. Modeling compassionate behaviour, encouraging positive relationships, and creating an environment of respect and understanding will help children learn to be more empathetic. With hard work, commitment and patience, you can bring out the best in your children and help them become more empathetic towards the world.
References
- Lawson-White, K. (2016). 10 Tips for Raising Empathetic Children. Retrieved from Psychology Today.
- Ira, J. (2020). 5 Ways to Raise a More Empathetic Child. Retrieved from Parents Magazine.
- Birken Cartwright, A. (2020). How to foster empathy in children. Retrieved from Psychology Today.